2011, December 31st

ohai!
yup, i am stating the obvious. today is the last day of 2011.
ppl are flooding FB with their goodbyes to 2011 and hello to 2012 already.
and it is almost like i am obliged to blog today. lol.

ANYWAY,
how was 2011 for me?!
hmm....2011 has been kind to me actually.
it has been a better year than the previous one for me.
my internship went well; nthg major good happened but nthg major bad happened as well.
i had what i hoped for in the early 2011; make new friends.
and i have found myself back again! <--- this means a lot to me.
i make a commitment to volunteer work and seriously, there is still a lot to learn for it.
overall, 2011 was a stable, nthg too bad, nthg too good, carefree year. =)
and i am happy with that. =)
i am sure i have hurt certain people along the way, i may be aware of it and i may not.
but either way, i am sorry *bows* for the fact that i made u felt bad, i am sorry.
i am not sure if i have made anyone more joyful along the way though..i have very little confidence in this part.lol.
but hey, if u know me, and now that i can properly admit that i am me again (meaning, no stupid act, no weird attitude and funny ideas),
i can tell u that i am naturally quite honest (in a way, it means i am straightforward) but at the same time, i hate it when i made someone feels bad.
but i can't avoid hurting people since i am so straightforward (cause it means sometimes i don't give a damn what u are feeling, i will shoot u if all my logical analysis in the brain show that something is wrong with u).
of course, i am not always right! so yeah, feel free to bust my bubbles..
hurts my ego but i don't want to be a fool. *grins*
what i am trying to say is, i hardly wear a mask so yes, u know me as me. not Zwei 1 or Zwei 2.
so, like me, good; dislike me, then too bad..maybe better luck next lifetime? *winks*
i am grateful to those who have been kind to me, so understanding and forgiving to me this year.
i am so grateful to those who can stand up to my cynical and sarcastic words as well! HAHA!!
thank you so much.. =)

while 2011 has been a good year,
2012 will be an awesome one!!
i'll be having my graduation!
2012 is (might be) my last year of studying!!
no, it's not like i am looking forward to working life.
it's just, the fact that i am finishing my higher education life is already a major thing!
it means a new arc of my life will begin no matter what and no matter how.
and then, if i am still blessed by September 2012, i am going to JAPAN!
lalalalalallalallaa~
so freaking awesome~~~~ B)
yes! 2012 will pass by just as fast as 2011 did!
i will be busy, packed and stressed up by studies, money, and my FUTURE plans.
well, i am starting 2012 with a stressed up case; final exams. LOL.
weeeeee~~~` it will be a memorable year with all the ups and downs.

so to all the ones that i love and care..
i hope for the best for you all, not just in 2011 and 2012, but for every coming year!
i hope i can be there when u are facing your darkest moments
and i hope to be there when u are having the best moments in your life too!

thank you 2011~
and thank God for all the blessings You gave me.. i am forever grateful.
bye bye 2011 *waves frantically* teeheeeeeee.....

after christmas

so how was your christmas? =)
actually, i don't celebrate christmas.
i am not a christian or anyone close to christian too.
the closest fact i am to christmas is that i have a number of christian friends..
haha..
but when u are living in Malaysia, it is hard to not want to join in the fun.
i mean, shopping centers in KL put in so much effort in the christmas decoration and playing christmas songs again and again.
i didn't do much for this christmas..
but parents had a small gathering in our home and we had dinner with family friends.
in the end, christmas was, for me, a chance to meet up with my friends.
u know, like reunion and stuffs like that.
hahahha..
so no, christmas was nthg too special for me.
in fact, CNY mood is stronger!
this time around, CNY is just a month away as i typed this post!
and that is very, very soon.
but then again, CNY will be another of my reunion-time.lol.

so....the realization that comes after christmas is.....
the year is coming to an end.
and then random mumbles will come to my brain..
"what????! end of year? so.....what have i done this year? *dahi berkerut*"
"2012?? oh no...FYP is coming!!! be prepared!"
"i can't believe one year passed just like that....*snaps finger*"
"seriously...what have i done.....hmm....intern.....sit.eat.type.chat.and the cycle repeats."
and the mumbles go on and on..
hahahahha!
but i can say that i have made new friends this year and this was what i wanted when i stepped into year 2011.
so yeah, mission accomplished!
of course, pls don't ask me if those friends are made to stay or only for the time being..
i won't know..
only time will reveal the truth.

anyway, new year is coming.
i don't think i am feeling anything..
what i feel is.......
"yerrr.....still got one more bloody project and bloody mengada assignment..and bloody boring report."
"at least no more tests. yay!"
"oh no...so much to study for finals...*gloomy*"
and the numerous mixed feelings list goes on and on......never ending.

but for the ones i care and love...
hope u ppl will enjoy the remaining of year 2011 and i hope the best for u for the coming 2012. *smiles*
(i shall wish again when it is really new year. =D)
many blessings...

night!

merry christmas :)

this is a bit late as i was busy with test preparation and *ahem* manga *cough* addiction *cough*.
well..
thank you little moth for staying so still for me to take pictures. =)

the last image is a little over-exposed. bubu...
and some required better focus skill. bubu...
and because it is a moth, that's why it was so still..
butterflies would have flew away.
but.....
nevertheless, being able to capture flappy things is a moment ought to be happy about. =)

i once stumbled upon a tumblr-blog that is full with thank you notes.
the blog had nthg but thank you notes from the writer almost every single day.
he/she would thank for various things, very random and small stuffs.
i really like it.
i would automatically smile when i read through.
too bad i couldn't remember what was the title again and i lost the bookmark record last time..
but then, i figure that being thankful about at least one thing is good for my heart and soul.
i will not able to write a thank you note everyday but let's start the chain. =)

Thank You Mum for sending my watch to the shop for repair although i never asked u to.
u probably already know i will not be able to send it even though i am back for the weekend.
thanks to u, i have my watch ticking again.
*smiles*

Thank You Dad for getting me a seriously expensive sweater. lol.
all the way from new zealand!
i really do like it and i will never need another sweater for a long, long time.
*grins*

today

so i had a "date" with my dear friend, kahyee aka +2 (lol)
we went daorae and then jusco.
i was looking for a parking at the first floor and when i saw an empty one,
guess what, two pretty girls were standing inside with their mum (i think) standing opposite them.
this means, they BOOKED the parking space for someone.
i was like what the h..........sweat face.
then God blessed me as i made a turn and there...a parking waiting for me obediently.
then the booked parking space was filled by the majestic car.
(haha....apa majestic. Honda Insight only.)
and when i got down, the young man got down from his car too.
funny (and quite adorable) thing is, he checked his car and gave a YES + big grin.
given that situation, i can only say he was HAPPY cause his REVERSE PARKING was a success.
HAHAAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!
what a kid!!!
but apparently, his car was not "in" enough so he reversed a bit more.
i don't know.
i just find it funny and that happy face was so adorable.
then we saw a P sticker on the car....awwwwww....what a kid!! xD
plus he had ppl booking a space for him!(i would do the same for my dad or friends actually.hehe.)
sorry kiddo..i had to laugh at your face today cause i was once like u and well, your grin was too genuine.LOL

sincerity

there are times where my dad will get annoyed with my mum being too nice to our relatives.
not because dad is stingy..it is because dad loves mum too much.
and when she is not getting the appreciation that she deserves.
as the daughter, of course, i am annoyed too.
but mum is only trying to teach us something about being in a family.
in a family, being nice does not need something in return..
and no matter how screwed up one is, family will help in any way possible and then smack them awake from their screwed up life.
there are times where it does seem my mum is being the foolish one.
having to cater all the requests and stuffs..
but one thing my mum earned from this is she is in everyone's heart.
that no matter what happens, they remember her..
and to mum, that is enough.
many times, my parents argued because of my relatives' issues and honestly, i hated that they were the reasons to their argument for i do not think it is worthy at all.
but even so, i have to agree with mum..
BUT i still hope she gets what she deserves.
i hope these ppl will remember that my mum has the choice of just walking away from u all but she didn't.
she stuck with u all instead, despite the erratic behaviours of each of u.
and i forgive my dad, he is only protecting mum.

so, being a fool because u truly care is ain't that bad.
but on the bad side, u could get hurt.
i can only believe that sincerity will break the ice and that despite feeling like a fool and hurt, i will touch their heart one day.
i know i am more conscious with my self-protection now..
i think i am just getting a bit more scared about getting hurt.
it became an auto self-defense mechanism now in order to keep my brain sane and cause less pain to the heart.
what a sad case..
but then..i can't help but really come to care for a number of ppl.
and so, after writing this, i guess it is okay to be a fool.
i know i am happy being one and will regret if i am not one.

so i stop forcing myself to forget. because i don't think i will ever know how to do so. in the end, i just gotta leave it to the time and the brain itself to just stop thinking when the time comes. i will just let the flow of thoughts to come and stop it when it gets too much. and i will keep doing so until the time comes where i have enough of other thoughts to overflow u. i do think i am a pretty sad case and quite useless too.. seeing that i am unable to control and rationalize myself out of this loop. but u left so much for me to filter through.. sigh. seriously, sleep is the best thing ever because i stop thinking about everything and i am able to live in my own perfect world for a bit. sleep is the best. i think i should learn from Keima-kun (from The World God Only Knows) and start looking at 2D guys only. ditch 3D guys. hahahaha! so many pretty 2D guys to feast my eyes at! *major despair* oh well..

on the slightly more serious note..

it seems like we are really drifting apart now.

it's probably for the better.

but this does not mean it is not sad.

night.

so i had a short session of kayak today.
haha.
super random but it was for some experiment purpose.
and we saw a rainbow.

night!

i know i am being ridiculously blur when..

i pay the person who actually, owes me money instead.

i told myself to boil water for the next day which is a routine but i forgot because i was just sitting around..

i bumped myself into various places.

and again, i bumped myself in other places.

i thought i've set the alarm for 7.30am and 8am, only to realize that i never set for 8am when i woke up at 8.15am.

and....i have a bad headache.sigh.

well...

i had a busy weekend!
went to KL for a not successful shopping.
it is really miserable when i tried so many shoes and yet none is right.
but that is the thing with shopping..
there is a right timing and also a little to do with luck.
anyway, not many discounts now..the christmas sale has not begun.
so.....pretty stuffs found but they came with a pretty price too. lol.

besides shopping, snacks is another KL thing.
a new japanese mochi stall is open in The Gardens and mum bought a box for us. =)

they are not cheap but i think they are more worth it, comparing to macarons.
after mochi, we tried the cream puffs =)

mum liked it!
well, cream puffs have always been a thing my mum likes.
and it is not easy to find a nice cream puff.
so this was pretty satisfying. hehe..
i also had Manhattan Fish Market for the first time.
sadly, never had the chance before this.lol.
i like their rice! =D aroma betul~~~

leaving KL aside, i had a test on the floor for the first time last thursday night.
management problem..
they forgot to prepare the hall for a test.
so the arrangement was more like for a talk.
since there was no time to arrange tables, they arranged the chairs..
and we were at first sitting on the chair...it got uncomfortable for many
so almost everyone sat on the floor with the chair as the table..well..it wasn't a helpful "table" at all.
so, messy test session..and that brings to open discussions everywhere!
the GA couldn't facilitate us that well..
ppl leaving their answers open to check with their friends..
whispering question numbers to check answers...
of course, i did the same!! teeheeeeee....
and i also curi took a few pics (many ppl did)

as u can see...ppl were turning around checking answers...whisper whisper whisper....
HAHAHAHA.
test konon.
well...a fun test. =D

as for today, we just celebrated fei zhai's birthday!
(okay, clarification, he is ming hui but i like calling him fei zhai..it's already a habit. =D)
well, we gave him a set of fish tank and stuffs to let him kick start his little fish aquarium in his hostel room.
and we also bought him two gold fishes to begin with. =)
i am sure he is very happy.

(bullying scene in the lab.laugh out loud.nthg better to do...)
Happy Belated Birthday, fei zhai =)

ooooo....this is becoming a long post!
let me end with a in-the-fitting-room-vain-pic.

(i like this lor.....why are u so darn pricey?? grrr....)

nightz! =)

once upon a december

many are posting welcome status in facebook for december.
it is after all the last month of 2011.
to me, this is crazy.
i don't feel like 2011 was a year.
it was more like a month or two.

since it is december, i thought of this song.

    Once Upon A December - Anastasia

so...hullo december.

less than a month to Christmas.

less than 2 months to Chinese New Year.

yeah, we can start singing CNY songs.haha.