last

guess what???
this is my last week of internship! *thunders roaaaaaar*
now, i do feel the "graduation effects" but only a teeny-wheeny little bit..
sad huh?
some would find internship fun, packed with life-long learning and etc.
i do get some pretty good lessons throughout my 32 weeks of internship but erm..
i am honestly bored.bored to the skin and bone.
and maybe, i finally have a proof to tell myself; i do not want to work as an engineer.
the question that comes after this is, then what the hell do i want to do after i grad?
*silence*
i will not answer or go in circles with that question for now. no, not now.
but anyway, i am so HAPPY that i am finishing internship!!! *big grins*
now, u can't blame me for being THAT happy about finishing internship..
it's not that i am that big of a lazy bum or i am such a immature young adult..
i am just so done with it.seriously.
but hey, it's not like my work was super stressful or super hard or my supervisor and mentors are whipping my butt while i work.
no. in fact, i get a lot of freedom. a lot of freedom.
i get to slack from time to time, to read a bit, chat, walk around.....
and even though i was given such a freedom, i wasn't happy.
i think i know why. i felt useless there.
what i was good in, was not utilize.
i guess, despite all the thoughts of being humble and invisible and blablabla, part of me will always want to shine out from the rest but no, i didn't get the chance this time.
that's okay.. at least i managed to be helpful with all the random tasks.
and u know, at work, what i have been asked to do most is language consultation; English.
it's something quite funny when u have your mentor calling u and u were expecting a new task for the last week, only to hear him asking u is it "special thank" or "special thanks". LOL.
and really, i don't exactly know how this started.. i think i have a face that shows, "dude, i am good in English. consult me. ask me." *smirk*
no... my English is only as good as....this.
oh another thing i get consulted a lot is actually computer stuffs. microsoft words and excel.
so i guess i don't know thaaaaaaaat little about computer stuffs after all. *grins*
all in all, i am still grateful to the ppl there because i know, i was meant to be there for some reasons which i still do not know what are they now. it's okay, i will come to know when the time comes.
i am happy that i still have 10 weeks of break before sem starts.
i am so gonna drown myself with card-making, anime, and books.
oh yeah, let me confess about something. it's my last week of internship and i have been reading.everyday.
no, i feel no guilt about it cause hey, i am dumped there with no tasks and projects anymore.
so yeah, i'll read all i want and no guilt at all. bluek!

wanna share something here..

i agree.. because this fear is one of those that lingers in my heart. all the time.
u'll know what i mean if u have experienced the pain when u were putting all your heart full of sincerity for the things u do, for the person.. only to be acknowledged as nothing special.
it really tore down the self confidence part..sigh.
it probably became the excuse for being ignorant as well..
but i do believe that this should not close the door to my heart.
i will keep it open. closing it won't do anything..
because someday, there will be one who will care that i care.. who will care about me more than i care about myself.
yeah, i believe that.

wee~~~~
tomorrow is another reading day! *grins*
(i am straining my eyes by reading on my phone..haha. who wants to give me an iPad 2? LOL.)