from paperer.

away the rabbit hops and here comes the glorious dragon!

2012-01-23T15:17:00.002+08:00

GONG HEI FATT CHOI & HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!
today marks the first day of our Chinese lunar calendar and it is the year of Dragon!!
wishing everyone a prosperous year ahead with good health and even more wealth!
*\(^o^)/*

TV channels are showing many, many programs and old movies.
and one can see a lot of Dragon infused items all around the places.
honestly, being Dragon year itself is a big deal already since Dragon is one of the most mythical creation.
as usual, i had reunion dinner with my family and relatives last night ~~(which included some endless drama)~~
which ended with spectacular fireworks!! <----- thanks to my very generous uncles.
hoho-ho.

well, i have my wishes for this year. *smirk smirk*
it is after all, going to be one of the most meaningful years in my life.
i don't know whether a lot of ppl care about graduation but i know i do.
it's like putting a HUGE full stop to one part of life and then starting a new chapter of a totally different lifestyle.
frankly speaking, i just want this year to be fun and interesting!
no, it's not that i am bored. i just have that instinct that this year will be even better!
BUT first of all, i hope i get a decent result for my final exams.this is the MAIN thing now!

so, for me, CNY is all about reunion and letting the kids to have some fun.
adults to spend money (in a controlled manner) just to make everyone happy and bahagia~
it is the time where u could make all the noise till the alarms of the neighbours gone off like mad yet they won't blame u!
because it's a symbol of happiness and where there is noise, there are ppl, and there is warmth when many ppl are gathered.
this is the time where u meet ppl whom u hardly meet throughout the year and just chat away!
i think traditions are very important in order to maintain the mood of the CNY.
fireworks are MEANT to be part of the tradition!
so screw the GOVERNMENT for not allowing it because Brunei allows it!!!<----being snobbish.

putting CNY aside, speaking of the law,
SOPA and PIPA are seriously serious topics.
what with Megaupload being shut down and Filesonic restricting their usage for the users,
this definitely affect the sharing world of the internet.
those two are the popular giant sharing sites and with them gone,
i bet ppl are cursing.
Megaupload doesn't affect me since Malaysia has blocked it way earlier (Malaysia so smart hor....)
and i don't use Filesonic often.
but restrictions are proving to make a big impact in many other ways.
SIGH.i am in the mood to protest SOPA.

back to CNY, i am actually really sleepy now cause i woke up at 4.30am for prayer..
i am not used to 2-3hours of sleep nowadays.
i am hoping for more gatherings with friends soon!! =)
i hope my wishes will be granted too this year!!teehee!

(the photos from our fireworks last night. i am posting these everywhere. lol. everybody loves fireworks. hehe!)

2012-01-16T23:48:00.001+08:00

a friend once asked me how do i define joy?
i didn't have an answer and still don't.
i could define grateful, faith, happiness, hurt, pain, regret, loved, protected, and the list goes on..
but joy is one that i still don't quite und on what it is.
and i don't know what i don't know about joy.

2012-01-05T02:27:00.001+08:00

i think this semester and maybe for the semesters to come,
i have many reasons to use this word; disgusted.
it's sad to say it is humans who gave me the reasons to feel so.

akemashite omedetou!

2012-01-01T11:32:00.002+08:00

and the above title means Happy New Year! :)
so last night, my parents decided to go Haagen Dazs for a treat in conjunction with New Year.
we had chocolate fondue.

come to think about it,
i used to wish i can have chocolate fondue back then and Haagen Dazs is known for their fondue.
and haha, i got my wish just before the end of year 2011.
so in a way, that is nice right? heeeee~
it wasn't cheap.. it is Haagen Dazs. we all know the price. lol.
but it is nice for once-awhile-pleasures. banana dipped in chocolate is yummy and strawberries with chocolate is totally awesome!
i still prefer New Zealand Natural ice cream.. ><
why am i talking about ice cream?
lol. i am supposed to talk about New Year.

i have no resolutions..
in fact, i don't even make them..
i just don't have the habit?
hahahha..
but i intend to make 2012 a nice year. :)
for some reason, the fact that i am doing final year really sinks in now..it wasn't like this yesterday.
i feel excited and anxious!
i think new years do make an impact on me..in one way or another.
hmmmm....i should study. teeheeee....

hello 2012. *waves*

2011, December 31st

2011-12-31T20:27:00.002+08:00

ohai!
yup, i am stating the obvious. today is the last day of 2011.
ppl are flooding FB with their goodbyes to 2011 and hello to 2012 already.
and it is almost like i am obliged to blog today. lol.

ANYWAY,
how was 2011 for me?!
hmm....2011 has been kind to me actually.
it has been a better year than the previous one for me.
my internship went well; nthg major good happened but nthg major bad happened as well.
i had what i hoped for in the early 2011; make new friends.
and i have found myself back again! <--- this means a lot to me.
i make a commitment to volunteer work and seriously, there is still a lot to learn for it.
overall, 2011 was a stable, nthg too bad, nthg too good, carefree year. =)
and i am happy with that. =)
i am sure i have hurt certain people along the way, i may be aware of it and i may not.
but either way, i am sorry *bows* for the fact that i made u felt bad, i am sorry.
i am not sure if i have made anyone more joyful along the way though..i have very little confidence in this part.lol.
but hey, if u know me, and now that i can properly admit that i am me again (meaning, no stupid act, no weird attitude and funny ideas),
i can tell u that i am naturally quite honest (in a way, it means i am straightforward) but at the same time, i hate it when i made someone feels bad.
but i can't avoid hurting people since i am so straightforward (cause it means sometimes i don't give a damn what u are feeling, i will shoot u if all my logical analysis in the brain show that something is wrong with u).
of course, i am not always right! so yeah, feel free to bust my bubbles..
hurts my ego but i don't want to be a fool. *grins*
what i am trying to say is, i hardly wear a mask so yes, u know me as me. not Zwei 1 or Zwei 2.
so, like me, good; dislike me, then too bad..maybe better luck next lifetime? *winks*
i am grateful to those who have been kind to me, so understanding and forgiving to me this year.
i am so grateful to those who can stand up to my cynical and sarcastic words as well! HAHA!!
thank you so much.. =)

while 2011 has been a good year,
2012 will be an awesome one!!
i'll be having my graduation!
2012 is (might be) my last year of studying!!
no, it's not like i am looking forward to working life.
it's just, the fact that i am finishing my higher education life is already a major thing!
it means a new arc of my life will begin no matter what and no matter how.
and then, if i am still blessed by September 2012, i am going to JAPAN!
lalalalalallalallaa~
so freaking awesome~~~~ B)
yes! 2012 will pass by just as fast as 2011 did!
i will be busy, packed and stressed up by studies, money, and my FUTURE plans.
well, i am starting 2012 with a stressed up case; final exams. LOL.
weeeeee~~~` it will be a memorable year with all the ups and downs.

so to all the ones that i love and care..
i hope for the best for you all, not just in 2011 and 2012, but for every coming year!
i hope i can be there when u are facing your darkest moments
and i hope to be there when u are having the best moments in your life too!

thank you 2011~
and thank God for all the blessings You gave me.. i am forever grateful.
bye bye 2011 *waves frantically* teeheeeeeee.....

after christmas

2011-12-26T01:27:00.001+08:00

so how was your christmas? =)
actually, i don't celebrate christmas.
i am not a christian or anyone close to christian too.
the closest fact i am to christmas is that i have a number of christian friends..
haha..
but when u are living in Malaysia, it is hard to not want to join in the fun.
i mean, shopping centers in KL put in so much effort in the christmas decoration and playing christmas songs again and again.
i didn't do much for this christmas..
but parents had a small gathering in our home and we had dinner with family friends.
in the end, christmas was, for me, a chance to meet up with my friends.
u know, like reunion and stuffs like that.
hahahha..
so no, christmas was nthg too special for me.
in fact, CNY mood is stronger!
this time around, CNY is just a month away as i typed this post!
and that is very, very soon.
but then again, CNY will be another of my reunion-time.lol.

so....the realization that comes after christmas is.....
the year is coming to an end.
and then random mumbles will come to my brain..
"what????! end of year? so.....what have i done this year? *dahi berkerut*"
"2012?? oh no...FYP is coming!!! be prepared!"
"i can't believe one year passed just like that....*snaps finger*"
"seriously...what have i done.....hmm....intern.....sit.eat.type.chat.and the cycle repeats."
and the mumbles go on and on..
hahahahha!
but i can say that i have made new friends this year and this was what i wanted when i stepped into year 2011.
so yeah, mission accomplished!
of course, pls don't ask me if those friends are made to stay or only for the time being..
i won't know..
only time will reveal the truth.

anyway, new year is coming.
i don't think i am feeling anything..
what i feel is.......
"yerrr.....still got one more bloody project and bloody mengada assignment..and bloody boring report."
"at least no more tests. yay!"
"oh no...so much to study for finals...*gloomy*"
and the numerous mixed feelings list goes on and on......never ending.

but for the ones i care and love...
hope u ppl will enjoy the remaining of year 2011 and i hope the best for u for the coming 2012. *smiles*
(i shall wish again when it is really new year. =D)
many blessings...

night!

merry christmas :)

2011-12-25T00:36:00.002+08:00

2011-12-14T22:19:00.002+08:00

this is a bit late as i was busy with test preparation and *ahem* manga *cough* addiction *cough*.
well..
thank you little moth for staying so still for me to take pictures. =)

the last image is a little over-exposed. bubu...
and some required better focus skill. bubu...
and because it is a moth, that's why it was so still..
butterflies would have flew away.
but.....
nevertheless, being able to capture flappy things is a moment ought to be happy about. =)

2011-12-11T00:15:00.001+08:00

i once stumbled upon a tumblr-blog that is full with thank you notes.
the blog had nthg but thank you notes from the writer almost every single day.
he/she would thank for various things, very random and small stuffs.
i really like it.
i would automatically smile when i read through.
too bad i couldn't remember what was the title again and i lost the bookmark record last time..
but then, i figure that being thankful about at least one thing is good for my heart and soul.
i will not able to write a thank you note everyday but let's start the chain. =)

Thank You Mum for sending my watch to the shop for repair although i never asked u to.
u probably already know i will not be able to send it even though i am back for the weekend.
thanks to u, i have my watch ticking again.
*smiles*

Thank You Dad for getting me a seriously expensive sweater. lol.
all the way from new zealand!
i really do like it and i will never need another sweater for a long, long time.
*grins*

today

2011-12-09T20:58:00.001+08:00

so i had a "date" with my dear friend, kahyee aka +2 (lol)
we went daorae and then jusco.
i was looking for a parking at the first floor and when i saw an empty one,
guess what, two pretty girls were standing inside with their mum (i think) standing opposite them.
this means, they BOOKED the parking space for someone.
i was like what the h..........sweat face.
then God blessed me as i made a turn and there...a parking waiting for me obediently.
then the booked parking space was filled by the majestic car.
(haha....apa majestic. Honda Insight only.)
and when i got down, the young man got down from his car too.
funny (and quite adorable) thing is, he checked his car and gave a YES + big grin.
given that situation, i can only say he was HAPPY cause his REVERSE PARKING was a success.
HAHAAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!
what a kid!!!
but apparently, his car was not "in" enough so he reversed a bit more.
i don't know.
i just find it funny and that happy face was so adorable.
then we saw a P sticker on the car....awwwwww....what a kid!! xD
plus he had ppl booking a space for him!(i would do the same for my dad or friends actually.hehe.)
sorry kiddo..i had to laugh at your face today cause i was once like u and well, your grin was too genuine.LOL

sincerity

2011-12-08T00:54:00.001+08:00

there are times where my dad will get annoyed with my mum being too nice to our relatives.
not because dad is stingy..it is because dad loves mum too much.
and when she is not getting the appreciation that she deserves.
as the daughter, of course, i am annoyed too.
but mum is only trying to teach us something about being in a family.
in a family, being nice does not need something in return..
and no matter how screwed up one is, family will help in any way possible and then smack them awake from their screwed up life.
there are times where it does seem my mum is being the foolish one.
having to cater all the requests and stuffs..
but one thing my mum earned from this is she is in everyone's heart.
that no matter what happens, they remember her..
and to mum, that is enough.
many times, my parents argued because of my relatives' issues and honestly, i hated that they were the reasons to their argument for i do not think it is worthy at all.
but even so, i have to agree with mum..
BUT i still hope she gets what she deserves.
i hope these ppl will remember that my mum has the choice of just walking away from u all but she didn't.
she stuck with u all instead, despite the erratic behaviours of each of u.
and i forgive my dad, he is only protecting mum.

so, being a fool because u truly care is ain't that bad.
but on the bad side, u could get hurt.
i can only believe that sincerity will break the ice and that despite feeling like a fool and hurt, i will touch their heart one day.
i know i am more conscious with my self-protection now..
i think i am just getting a bit more scared about getting hurt.
it became an auto self-defense mechanism now in order to keep my brain sane and cause less pain to the heart.
what a sad case..
but then..i can't help but really come to care for a number of ppl.
and so, after writing this, i guess it is okay to be a fool.
i know i am happy being one and will regret if i am not one.

2011-12-07T02:25:00.001+08:00

so i stop forcing myself to forget. because i don't think i will ever know how to do so. in the end, i just gotta leave it to the time and the brain itself to just stop thinking when the time comes. i will just let the flow of thoughts to come and stop it when it gets too much. and i will keep doing so until the time comes where i have enough of other thoughts to overflow u. i do think i am a pretty sad case and quite useless too.. seeing that i am unable to control and rationalize myself out of this loop. but u left so much for me to filter through.. sigh. seriously, sleep is the best thing ever because i stop thinking about everything and i am able to live in my own perfect world for a bit. sleep is the best. i think i should learn from Keima-kun (from The World God Only Knows) and start looking at 2D guys only. ditch 3D guys. hahahaha! so many pretty 2D guys to feast my eyes at! *major despair* oh well..

on the slightly more serious note..

it seems like we are really drifting apart now.

it's probably for the better.

but this does not mean it is not sad.

night.

2011-12-06T00:57:00.001+08:00

so i had a short session of kayak today.
haha.
super random but it was for some experiment purpose.
and we saw a rainbow.

night!

2011-12-05T11:59:00.001+08:00

i know i am being ridiculously blur when..

i pay the person who actually, owes me money instead.

i told myself to boil water for the next day which is a routine but i forgot because i was just sitting around..

i bumped myself into various places.

and again, i bumped myself in other places.

i thought i've set the alarm for 7.30am and 8am, only to realize that i never set for 8am when i woke up at 8.15am.

and....i have a bad headache.sigh.

well...

2011-12-05T01:20:00.001+08:00

i had a busy weekend!
went to KL for a not successful shopping.
it is really miserable when i tried so many shoes and yet none is right.
but that is the thing with shopping..
there is a right timing and also a little to do with luck.
anyway, not many discounts now..the christmas sale has not begun.
so.....pretty stuffs found but they came with a pretty price too. lol.

besides shopping, snacks is another KL thing.
a new japanese mochi stall is open in The Gardens and mum bought a box for us. =)

they are not cheap but i think they are more worth it, comparing to macarons.
after mochi, we tried the cream puffs =)

mum liked it!
well, cream puffs have always been a thing my mum likes.
and it is not easy to find a nice cream puff.
so this was pretty satisfying. hehe..
i also had Manhattan Fish Market for the first time.
sadly, never had the chance before this.lol.
i like their rice! =D aroma betul~~~

leaving KL aside, i had a test on the floor for the first time last thursday night.
management problem..
they forgot to prepare the hall for a test.
so the arrangement was more like for a talk.
since there was no time to arrange tables, they arranged the chairs..
and we were at first sitting on the chair...it got uncomfortable for many
so almost everyone sat on the floor with the chair as the table..well..it wasn't a helpful "table" at all.
so, messy test session..and that brings to open discussions everywhere!
the GA couldn't facilitate us that well..
ppl leaving their answers open to check with their friends..
whispering question numbers to check answers...
of course, i did the same!! teeheeeeee....
and i also curi took a few pics (many ppl did)

as u can see...ppl were turning around checking answers...whisper whisper whisper....
HAHAHAHA.
test konon.
well...a fun test. =D

as for today, we just celebrated fei zhai's birthday!
(okay, clarification, he is ming hui but i like calling him fei zhai..it's already a habit. =D)
well, we gave him a set of fish tank and stuffs to let him kick start his little fish aquarium in his hostel room.
and we also bought him two gold fishes to begin with. =)
i am sure he is very happy.

(bullying scene in the lab.laugh out loud.nthg better to do...)
Happy Belated Birthday, fei zhai =)

ooooo....this is becoming a long post!
let me end with a in-the-fitting-room-vain-pic.

(i like this lor.....why are u so darn pricey?? grrr....)

nightz! =)

once upon a december

2011-12-01T08:42:00.001+08:00

many are posting welcome status in facebook for december.
it is after all the last month of 2011.
to me, this is crazy.
i don't feel like 2011 was a year.
it was more like a month or two.

since it is december, i thought of this song.

Once Upon A December - Anastasia

so...hullo december.

less than a month to Christmas.

less than 2 months to Chinese New Year.

yeah, we can start singing CNY songs.haha.

2011-11-30T14:02:00.001+08:00

lack of love.

should be more specific.
lack of the love i want.
*loneliness*

2011-11-20T23:51:00.001+08:00

so after reading many reviews about Kindle Touch, Nook Simple Touch, Nook Tablet, and Kindle Fire..
i ended up closing the whole browser.
lol.
and decided to stick to my iPod Touch for now.
sweat.
talk about temporary excitement.
but e-reader, i will get u one day.
because i don't foresee myself giving up on the reading hobby.
instead, i will place more time in it.
gotta love the fact that i am improving my vocab!

goodnight!

kindle dindle windle

2011-11-19T01:05:00.001+08:00

it's (almost) official!
i want a Kindle Touch.
RM500 to read ebooks (*ahem* free).
seriously, books, u are just too expensive.
trust me, i really like a shelf full of books...but u are just too pricey.
and some of u are not using recycled papers.hmph.

as for a tablet, if anyone is interested,
Kindle Fire is pretty good choice.
though the screen is smaller, but the price is half of iPad 2.
Kindle Fire is selling for RM899.
why not Samsung tablet??
duh. Samsung is all pretty commercials and fancy intro video.
Samsung Galaxy S2 is not on par with HTC Desire HD; performance wise.
i repeat, not on par at all.
just because it is thinner and has a big screen too, it doesn't make it better.
sorry to Samsung fans. it's nthg personal. just honest opinions from my hands on experience.

2011-11-18T16:19:00.001+08:00

semester is seriously passing by really fast..too fast!
i can't keep up with it!
i don't quite get on why i feel that this semester is passing this fast.
hmm....
i have projects to complete and a few more Test 1 to strike.
but seriously, i can really sleep these days.
i think the main conflict in me during academic weeks is, Sleep vs Studies.
sleep is my nature!
i can't defy my nature. B)
okay, this is just a normal rant from a student about their peaceful student's life.

so i have finally complete watching Hanasaku Iroha last night.

the first anime series that i wanna complete when i got the little guilty-less free time..heh.
i still have many to complete.
repeat, it is many to complete..not many to begin.
meaning, i left many series halfway done though i have the complete episodes.
hahahahaha......
it is a nice slice-of-life anime series.
funny enough to make u laugh out loud a bit, and touching enough to make u shed a few tears.
and definitely heart warming enough with the friendship, family bonds, and young romance. :)

before i obediently lift my butt to go for my class,
here's a quote to share.

because now i know,
when i decided to love, i will give it all.
but this is probably back then.
will i do the same again?
hard to say.i have fear in me now.
fear of knowing that sometimes, no matter what u do, things will still fail.
and i will still get hurt.
so u, yes u, better know that the fact i got better now is thanks to my parents and my friends and myself.
i will cast away the fear u placed in me.
u believed i will stand strong, so stand strong, i will be.
i don't hate u..in fact, i miss u.
but then, the things i miss about u are probably just the memories and the bond we shared 2 years ago.
and actually, love cannot be measured so there is no more or less.
but i know, mine was sincere and true.

and here is my attempt to goldfish move! fiasco indeed.

2011-11-17T01:04:00.001+08:00

p/s: will need to tweek it a bit on the arms position. :D

when u are in a fiasco, do the goldfish move!

2011-11-14T23:58:00.001+08:00

2011-11-12T23:58:00.001+08:00

so parents went to jusco today to do some shopping.
mum asked whether i wanna follow and i decided to stay at home instead.
she asked me what i want and i said milo.
and when they got home,
i saw two boxes of snacks in the basket that i will bring to uni tmr.
simple act of love.
thanks mum.
thanks dad.
<3

and itunes shuffled to this song yesterday.
an indonesia song.
and this lady has a great vocal.

agnes monica - matahariku

tweeks!

2011-11-12T08:27:00.001+08:00

implemented the share buttons for Blogger
and personally added the FB "like" button for my blog posts.
teeheeeeeeeee... :D
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
i just realized that my header was the wrong banner.
i must have mixed up my personal blog banner with my card blog one.
lol.
weeee....
i had so much fun doing the little tweeks around my blog.
done easily with the tutorial from Google.
yeah, Google is the answer to the answers!

i have widen the body of my blog so that i can put big BIG pictures.
hahaha.
me like to see BIG pictures.
and centralized my banner since my blog is wider now.
tweeks done enough for now!

just a kiss

2011-11-12T00:24:00.001+08:00

Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life..

11-11-11

2011-11-11T23:11:00.000+08:00

so ppl are raving around about this date today in FB (since last night, actually).
saying it is a lucky date, lucky day, good for marriage, birth, a good date to start something special a.k.a confession or start of a new relationship...etc...
to me, it is just another usual day.
lol.
not that i am saying all these special blablabla are worthless..
it's just me who has nthg to make it memorable or special.
too bad for me eh?
but to those who picked this date and made all the arrangements to make this date a special one, congrats :)
do remember, it is not the date that is special.
it is the effort u put to make this date a special one that is worth remembering.

was listening to this song when i was otw back to ipoh in the train.

only hope by mandy moore

we used to love this movie so, so much.
we were saying how romantic it was, how heart warming it was..and this song was so nice.
haha.
it is still a nice movie to me.
there is just something about it that makes it different from other romantic movies.
maybe because in this movie, it showed how landon changed?
it gives the hope that ppl do change to be better?
even though it may not be long lasting, those miraculous moments do happen in our life.

so have faith.
because in the end, everything will fall in the right place.
and everything will be alright.
after all, i as a human won't take anything else but alright as the ending.

p/s: changed the layout and theme of my blogs again.
i kept everything white this time.
clean and neat.
so now, my photos/pictures are the focus. :)

2011-11-09T00:39:00.004+08:00

i've been unable to focus recently.

i am beginning to think that it is because i am thinking about too many things at once.

(and worrying)

so i am messed up..

not in peace.

in the end, more mistakes were made.

so, i should ditch the stuffs..

settle down.

and then start again.

buzz away.

so...

2011-11-04T00:19:00.001+08:00

mid sem break starts after 12pm tomorrow!

honestly, i can't believe it at all.

it's week 6 and week 7 is next..

seriously, time is like....flying like a F1 car!

i can't catch up with time.urgh.

did a few well...stupid mistakes in studies and all this rush..

i don't know..i feel dreamy now. =.=

i am craving for the bed for days...and i just wanna empty my brain and sleeeeeeeeeep.

and sleep and sleep and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

mid sem break will not be that free.

what with projects haunting us..

so, i am heading down to KL to visit the National Library for the first time!

honestly, i should be excited because there will be books!!!

and after that, hopefully, a Nando's meal and some shopping? teeheeeee.

i have tests coming right after the one week break.pretty scared, no, very scared actually.

sigh...

anyway, back to some shopping mood!

i am in need to own a maxi dress. (in need is exaggerating.lol.)

saw a few pretty ones in Pinterest.

floral prints maxi.must have.

i love this blue maxi a lot!

i hope i can find one to love and to wear.

other than studies and stuffs,

guess what?

Air Asia had a promotion for flights to Tokyo/Osaka and i decided to jump in the wagon!

so yes! i am flying to Osaka September next year (providing everything goes well and i am continually blessed) !

yes, i am a blessed idiot to actually have a chance to go there next year!

i am an almost otaku. i can't deny that already since i have been watching for anime for years.

i will get to see the magnificent temples over there and to finally witness the culture!

i was totally excited but i will have a lot of saving to do and hoping to earn some money too.

but before that.....let's dream a bit.

so yeah, save money!!!!

and mochi!

i can't wait to eat mochi, real mochi!!

laugh out loud.

hah.......tired brain.

blogging failure

2011-11-02T01:31:00.001+08:00

i have been hoping to blog within these days...
but every time i open up a new blank post,
i would be caught in other stuffs....
too many stuffs these days.
but i will blog.
i.will.blog!
cause one of my wishes was granted last week.
so yeah, maybe i will come back and blog about it,
after my sleep.
hahaha..
zzzzzzzzzzzzz~

cause sometimes, i just want to smile like an idiot.

2011-10-24T23:58:00.000+08:00

2011-10-23T12:09:00.002+08:00

because in life, arguments are unavoidable..
because truth is usually harsh and cruel..
because reality is sometimes the worst of all..
and then u feel like u have been thrown to the bottom of the world,
dark, lost, and u feel worthless.

but it's okay..that is life.
no pain, no gain.
no cry, no smile.
so when the worst comes, grab something for a support and face it.
for it will pass like every other pains that have faded into your memories..
i gotta remember, things will pass and all those high-tensions and heart-clenching moments will go..
and then, things will be back to its own pace again.
so, when in the worst times, endure and be strong.
*smile*

putting aside the philosophy talk,
i am recently listening to (don't know repeat how many times already ah...) a new song by Supercell.
the song is entitled "My Dearest".
it is the opening for the new anime Guilty Crown.
the girl who sang this is a new singer and she is only 15.
the full version is not out yet..i have to be ultra-patient and wait until 23 Nov for it. *sobs*
but the thing that caught my heart for this song is actually the lyrics.
so i will post the video of the opening and the translations here.

so everything that makes me whole

i'll give that to you now

i'm yours...

say, there's a lot of happiness in this world, isn't there?

someday, if we're together

even if someone calls you a liar

and tries to hurt you with cruel words

even if the world does not try to believe in you

and places a crown of thorns upon your head

i can take your side, and yours alone

i know your pain and loneliness

so everything that makes me whole

i'll give that to you now

to me, the song is romantic in its own way.

i like the message in it and while i don't really have anyone to dedicate this to..

so i dedicate this to the ones who need the support.

to have one who will stand by u through all..

and to be the one who is willing to stand with one through all..

i did that and no regrets.

i dedicate this to anna lau

2011-10-22T00:31:00.003+08:00

red cardigan~~ :P

the first Coach bag that i actually think it is nice leh... :D

plaid pattern!! teeheeeeeeeee...... :D

pinkish fetish.... ^^

how can we not love her style.

and lalala....cardigan! bluek.

thanks for the hang out today darl.
hugs! always nice to spend time with u.. :)

pretty flowy dressy

2011-10-19T17:16:00.000+08:00

i came across many lovely dresses/gowns in Pinterest.
wanna post them here! =)

this one is simple and sweet. =) gotta match it with long wavy hair (like the lovely lady) or a nice necklace.

it's the colour!! and that silky material..*drool*

i think this blue will be gorgeous on the fair ones. like, really really gorgeous.

this is more a practical one.one shoulder-off.and pale pink.lovely bride's maid dress.

grey is gorgeous.the ruffles are absolutely drool-able.

lacey white wedding dress.i think this is classy. (way wayyyyyyyyy better than the many *cough* clowny *cough* wedding dresses out there now)

this is just simply beautiful to me.it will be impossible for chinese to wear a black wedding dress/gown but this one is seriously pretty!!

this......this one is like....absolutely gorgeous!really wanna mark this down and make it my dream wedding dress/gown! (actually, i never really gave a serious thought on wedding dress issue.lol.but this is too prettay!) ^^

ending with a dreamy gown. =) this is so Vera Wang. tulle, ruffles, puffy, champagne tone; all princess-like.

i shall dream of them tonight~~~
so that i can swat away the one i had last night (which was really.....heart wrenching)
happy dress dreaming! =)

2011-10-19T02:18:00.002+08:00

haha.
the world is funny and sometimes, it is just so small.
the ones that u walked pass today could ended up being your friend years later.
and this kind of random things in life is one of the delightful moments; those that u cannot judge whether they are for good or for worse, but just simply amusing to think about.

so how have i been?
it is already week 4 in uni.
time is like passing really REALLY fast.
and tomorrow, i will be having a test already!
my heart cannot catch up with the time
while my brain, cannot catch up with the lessons.
*laughs*
such are the norms of a student's life eh?

well, strolling away from uni,
i am missing my girl friends already!!
(well, uni life got a bit hectic and i am already looking forward to run away already.)
yeah...life is pretty much...well, being life.
i have loads to catch up, a few matters to think about for my future,
and start being Ms. Questions for my coming baby, final year project.

what else?
hmm....just things that i do not feel like stepping into at the moment.
was looking through an inherited text book and saw a doodling..
a memorable one.
that book is a personal one, no matter what; this much, i have accepted.

hey, to the readers who are probably mostly are my friends,
i am happy now. ^^

2011-10-17T00:39:00.000+08:00

nope..
i don't feel right with anyone yet.
the time has not come.
because in truth, it's not whether one is the nicest person or worst,
it is about feeling right.

feeling vain

2011-10-16T02:22:00.001+08:00

so i am just like every other girl,
pretty cosmetics are included in the wish list.
B)
i want these two!

am craving for a nice blusher+highlighter+contouring.
and it comes with a brush!
oh, that new lip gloss is really pretty...and quality is freaking nice!
splurge splurge!!
*muka mahu*
but of course...i dare not buy.yet.

anyway,
i went to the Shiseido counter today to have a look at the new lip gloss.
the promoter was saying that i should take care of my lips while young..
don't simply use any lipstick or lip gloss for it might darken the lips.
then she said my lips still has a nice red..so must take care.
well well, little does she knows, i was wearing this.

yeah! the chubby stick!
bought the nude colour one (the brownish one)
and it gives a nice au naturel colour where it doesn't look like i have something on but my lips are not pale.
i am all about au naturel look~
that's why i buy Korean style of make up.teeheeeeeee~
okay...my natural lips is okay but not all the time..sometimes it is just pale..unless i eat something spicy every morning then yeah...it will be really red.HAHA.
and me who doesn't apply any blush or foundation all the time, i don't want my lips to look pale.
so chubby stick was a good buy!
very fun to apply..like colouring my lips.hehe..
okay..enough of vain here..
show u pretty ladies. =D

emma roberts. sweet girl. =)

ellen page. talented lady.

emma watson. i will forever admire her.

nightz!

2011-10-15T01:10:00.001+08:00

walk walk walk...
keep walking in my life..
loads to see, never ending of stuffs to learn..
brain is loaded these days..but loaded with what, i don't exactly know..
and actually, i think i just need sleeps that are dreamless..let the little brain rest for real.
so dreams...i don't want u to come for at least one night, even if u are a sweet one.

i don't know what is right and wrong..can't think properly these days.
feels like...something is stuck in the pipes of my head.
no, maybe i just don't want to think..
hoho...lazyness!
hmm...i hope i get my belgium chocolates...
haha!

and i miss my yum cha sessions with the girls..
oh well..to the bed!

2011-10-12T01:32:00.001+08:00

these days, i am really beginning to wonder why do i like chatting with ppl who are basically complicated humans?
=.=
sweat Zwei, major sweat at yourself!

to treat one with the care and sincerity from the heart also means, allowing myself to get hurt.
and i am beginning to wonder if it is worth it.
no...i guess i just care for some ppl who might not even give a damn about me.
who just puts up with me out of their little kindness and showing me smileys that might not even be sincere.

but then again, i think i am happier being the silly girl,
hoping that if i truly care for someone, that someone will eventually know and i will earn a true connection.
one tiny little stuff from them and i will be so freaking happy!
and i will forget all those disappointments.
urgh.......seems so silly!
confused with why am i putting up with this circles.

......................................i probably know the answer.

i care about them a lot more than i thought.
sigh.

smile.

2011-10-08T23:31:00.002+08:00

today is one those days where i get a bit of luck in the things i did..
like..
it was raining when i got to jusco so i hoped to park my car indoor..
even after losing the first two chances within the first 5min, i found a space the next minute. =)
with no competition.

grabbed myself a new BB cream that turns out pretty nice and,
chose the right shade of lip balm.
there is something strangely satisfying and exciting when u got yourself the right cosmetics.
haha..

heard a short clip of a lovely song on TV but couldn't figure out the title =(
nvm..later went FB and someone posted it.
and i got my song.
can't stop listening to it now..teeheeeeeeee....

and if i am to include the little conversation i had in the very early hours of today,
well...today is a bliss then... =)

thank you for all these little happy events.

2011-10-08T00:43:00.001+08:00

so i miss a few ppl tonight.. :)

and it has begun

2011-10-04T21:45:00.005+08:00

if i wrote this post a few days ago,
my first line would have been "i have a freaking annoying and super itchy mosquito bite!".
LOL.
UTP has poisonous mosquitoes and one bite could cause serious itch.
but since i wrote this today,
i guess i would say, haven't been this sick in awhile and it is miserable.haha!
haven't had fever for awhile and darn it, shivering with the cold is so no fun!
gave me sleepless nights though sleep is what i need the most now..
so in the end, since i have no class tmr, i decided to come home and rest..
seen the doctor, took the med (antibiotic was the key to make everything better) and will sleep a lot..
and really, really sleep properly..

so my final year has begun.
i am not exactly a final year student yet cause by law, i am still a 3rd yr 2nd sem student..
but i am finishing the 3 last sems in a year, so it is my final year in uni.
so in a way, i am a final year student. (complicated betul.)
anyway, i do see how my 10months away from uni changed my perspective a little.
or i should be more specific, internship.
i could definitely understand the purpose of applications better than before,
and also, i have a different perspective about studying now..
which i hope it will turn out good and give better results.
so final year will be final year..gotta enjoy the fact that it is a final year.
and gotta appreciate every little thing, good and bad, of it too.
honestly, i can't expect the whole year to be good eh? that won't be life.lol.
may the distant ones be closer and may the closer ones stay as close.

phew~ i am sleepy already...
well, being sick is a good excuse to sleep like i don't give a damn. teeheee~
oh yeah, i miss a few ppl.. :)

night!

2011-09-24T00:34:00.001+08:00

i can't believe i dreamed of u.
in that way!

someone breaking the barriers?

2011-09-23T01:06:00.002+08:00

so much to say but i only managed to give a deep sigh every time.
feelings are all mixed up into a dough.
i shall just visit the dreamland and enjoy with my friends of the little world i own.

teeheee.. :)

2011-09-18T00:59:00.002+08:00

i am recently, into looking at art images..
well, being one who could watch so many anime and read so many manga, naturally..i like to see art images related to the anime style.
been awhile since i post lots of pictures!
(it won't be just anime!)

Tangled. :) Disney definitely managed to bring back the fairytale feel with this. x)

two of my favourite anime! all girls in it but, two of the best. ^^

edward scissorhands..classic.

to the right, to the right.

*chuckles*
night!

2011-09-14T01:36:00.004+08:00

i have less than two weeks and i will be back in uni.
after 10 long months away from it..
honestly, it doesn't feel like 10 months.
i have probably develop a love-and-hate feeling for my uni. lol.
last week, i was still dreading to go back.
this week, well, i am beginning to feel like going back is not such a bad thing after all.
i need to get out of my static life and polish my rusty brain.
but first of all, i need to settle my card works..and then take a break from it.
i have even decided to push a pause button on it when my sem started..
yea, i need those free time for other stuffs like reading..and focus on other stuffs.
when tiring is what i am labeling my passion, it means, this is the limit.
i have other things to attend to..so sad that i couldn't read the books i have before sem starts.
i will need to relax for real when i have the free time then.

the stress and worry are getting to me.
i am gonna have more white hair.

goodnight.

2011-09-05T00:49:00.001+08:00

recently, i get to witness a few LDR = long distance relationships among the ppl i know..
i was in a LDR myself but i won't say i know/und much about it..
but i do think distance matters...
making the effort to tell the other one about your daily routine, the issues your are facing, sharing the joy and pain in words, and enduring the feeling of being lonely..
some survived the distance, while some don't..
they probably had to go through a lot of arguments, doubts, crazy effort in making things work..
of course, there is always a saying that states, "if you're meant to be, it will be."

it hurts u know..
to be unable to be there right next to them when they are in pain and feeling so down.
to be unable to be there to lend them a shoulder or a hug when they just want to cry it out..
to feel helpless is not a good feeling at all.
i can understand why some ppl say long distance don't work..
but i can also understand why some ppl say long distance will work..
i, personally, am okay with long distance..though i dare not say what are the effort needed to maintain it..
hmmm....maybe meeting the right person?

but yeah..distance does make things a little more scary..
because u can't see and all u can depend on is a strong trust and faith on the words u hear or read.
what's scarier is..when the strong trust gets trampled on, u just feel broken inside..
okay, not u, i should write it as "i".
since i am basically speaking from my point of view.
yeah..i did get heartbroken but i am okay now.
i leave the pain in the past..the scars are still there and probably fear..but i don't exactly know what fear.
but i am ready to face whatever that comes along..

and to me, distance issues don't just apply on relationships..
it applies on friendships as well..
distance means..us being involved in different societies and meeting different ppl..
we are facing different stories, different events, different issues..
and without, the difference will eventually draw a line in between..
it's not that we don't care about each other, in fact, they might actually be more important than ever..
just..we are no longer walking on the same path..talking about everything..
i know this is part of life and feeling sad about something that comes naturally in life is pretty pointless..
but even so, can't push away the feelings away..
if u are able to grow up together, be it a friend or a partner, appreciate the bond..it's so so hard to get that.
of course..meeting new ppl ain't bad..
but as i get older, real bonds are harder to build.
hence, i miss the old things..

part of current life..

2011-08-31T13:04:00.001+08:00

I am sitting in a cafe,with my cousins,in malacca..there is WiFi here and everyone is looking at their smartphones,uploading pics and checking in our location in FB.commenting and liking each other posts even though we are just in front of each other.this....is our generation. :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2

2011-08-27T02:30:00.000+08:00

i am now listening to Amazing Grace by Il Divo..
i somehow just like their version a lot.. =)
it sounds so peaceful..

in one more month, i will be heading back to UTP and begin my last year as a university student.
so much more to do but i don't feel ready at all.
i sometimes think i seriously need to make some plans for the future but it feels so early now..
not when i still have a final year project in the way.
things just don't feel like the end yet..
stepping into the real adult life is gonna be scary..at least to me.

as for now, i am working hard on my cards..
it's tiring but i can really do this for a long time..
and i just thought of some ideas to make for my friends for the coming happenings. =)
so gonna try it out tomorrow..
so yeah...science or art? laugh out loud.
sigh..

i have been busy with tzu chi activities too..
being a part time volunteer is really...satisfying.
it's not like i have got myself many, many friends from it but just being there, doing the stuffs makes me feel good.
it's the part where u actually feel that u are doing something in your life.
working and earning money don't make me feel like that.
and recently, no, to be more general, this whole year, i have gotten many chances to struck a new friend again and again.
so i did get what i hoped for after all.
i hope that i will get to know more new friends this year and i did!
that's something to be grateful about! =)
i am glad how certain things took a better turn..i am really grateful for that.
i still feel that my life is lack of something.. (haha..i believe i know what the something is.)
but then again, i am actually doing well and quite a happy girl now.
of course, life can always be better but..for now, it is the comfy times..
and for that, i wanna thank everyone for just being there and for appearing in my life.

it's a cold night..
gonna be a caterpillar for tonight!hehe..
it's the holiday season for Malaysia!
i don't like being in the jam but...the jam means merry and gathering.
i am glad ppl are gathered to celebrate and not to war or suffering.
happy holidays!

Hullo..My abandoned blog.

2011-08-19T01:30:00.001+08:00

sigh.
there were many, MANY times that i clicked on my blog and then the new post but ended not blogging anything.
it is not like i have nothing to blog about.
i guess i am just...lazy? *guilty*
so i hope u don't mind if i just cramp everything in this one post. teeheee....

first of all!
the windshield of my car was hit by a stone and it must have accurately hit a crucial spot of it because it cracked the whole piece of glass within a second.

how very unlucky..but within the unlucky-ness, i was also lucky cause i was not alone.
i had my friend with me.
and together we embark on this epic glass-cracking-flying-shaking journey from somewhere-near-Pusing to Bercham.
the journey should be around 35-40minutes.
so first, we shattered it to make a big hole for me to drive.
honestly, the process was no honeymoon cause we were by the road and we were girls.
i was worried that some random thieves or drunk man will just stop and snatch our bags.
and the sky was grey and the clouds were full with water.
so yet another lucky-ness, there were no thieves or drunk man and the clouds were on our side. phew~~

the big hole!!this was the best we could do..we had to deal with random dropping pieces of glass along the way.
and we laughed whenever one fell down.hahahahha!
oh another thing, actually, taking pictures during such a time made me feel such a weirdo.
it was like "aiseh, cermin sudah pecah wei!and it is gonna freaking rain but u still take pictures. =.="
but this incident was too epic for me that i had to take a few as memories and so that i can put them here in my blog. lol. (gosh...society nowadays...)
\

and so, we drove slowly back.
we braced through the strong wind, the threatening dark clouds, big lorries passing by (they made such strong wind that it shook the glass.haha.), a little bit of rain, and the highway; with laughter, me wearing a cool pair of shades, and the both us telling each other this was such an epic day.
oh yeah, i forgot to back up the story.
we were actually otw back from my uni as i went there to hand in my final report for my internship.
that's why we were so far away from home..
(urgh, my face is super ugly in the picture.ngeee...)

moving on to next happening!
so i completed the four classes for Tzu Chi and went Penang the other day.
and i am now officially a Tzu Chi Volunteer!
i wear the gray shirt with mummy. =)
(there are some sort of rankings in Tzu Chi but i am so lazy to explain it here..lol)
anyway..being in Tzu Chi does not straight made me someone very nirvana.
i am still just a human that makes many mistakes through my actions, words, and thoughts.
i am learning to be a better human in order to gain peace within me..
and honestly, doing volunteer work is so much more fun than working.
i'll attach a few pics. =)

awesome souvenirs!!

mummy~ =)

a Buddha potrait made by many, many photos. amazing piece of art!

our logo.

Bercham fella!! (not my photo. =) )

Ipoh lang!! (not my photo as well.=) )

okay! moving on!

Zyin has gone back to US. =( sad.

but i will see her soon, i guess.

and by that time, we will be graduates.

goodness!!!

leeann is back though, from Ireland. =)

August is here and September will come soon.

and when it comes, it also means the long sem break of most of my friends will end, including me.

i am going back to books, lecture notes, assignments, tests, and exams.

i can't believe i left uni for so many months.

the internship felt like a dream.. =.=

probably cause i WAS dreaming during internship..

lol!

okay...what else do i have to blog about...hmmm.........

that's all for the happenings, i guess.hahaha!

i should go sleep..it's 1.30am.

nah, Anna, a long blog post to compensate for my long absence.teeheeeee.... =D

2011-07-24T00:09:00.000+08:00

sigh. i wish i can have them.
i wish.

i really like this palette from Chanel.
part of their spring items. i totally love the colours! totally!! (>.<)

this Bobbi Brown palette is really pretty too!!!
everything i need is here! i sigh when i saw this..it's so pretty.

this Clarins blusher is really pretty too! i think the peach colour will be the best. =)
the texture seems to be really smooth and the colours are just so sweet.

they are like big crayons and the colour seems pretty natural on lips.
i will need to find a replacement for my Revlon lip tint since it is discontinued here.
really wanna try one!! but of course..this is a pricey replacement. bububu~~

leather, the naked screen showing the mechanics, bling bling around it..
i want!!! *muka sangat mahu*

the bottle is pretty. teeheee... no i don't want this. i just think the bottle is really pretty. haha!

lastly, a cute picture!!

pout pout pout pout pout!!!!
cause i can't have those things up there!!! pout!
(>.<)

2011-07-21T21:41:00.000+08:00

majestic..i totally fell for this photo when i first saw it.
the feeling is just incredible..

you can find the simplest yet most meaningful phrases from Winnie the Pooh.

and i absolutely love everything about Harry Potter.
the books, the story, the characters, the casts, and even though there are a lot to complain about the movies, i still like them just because they are Harry Potter. bluek. i know, i am too big of a fan already. haha.
i really wanna watch the last movie in cinema AGAIN!

one wrong click.

2011-07-19T20:31:00.000+08:00

i made one wrong click in my Google+ account and my photos in my blogs are ALL gone.
while i am re-posting the pictures for my Paperer's Cards,
i decided not to do so for my personal blog.
hence, deleted all 200+ of posts.
i must admit, it wasn't that easy of a decision.
i always thought that i can read back my old posts and see how much i have grown or changed.
but the damage is done, and sometimes, it is better to just let go and start anew.
so yeah, deleted all of them!
the important thing is i am still around and there will be posts still.
forget the history. it's the present i want to blog about! :)

Furball!!!!!!

last

2011-07-13T21:01:00.000+08:00

guess what???
this is my last week of internship! *thunders roaaaaaar*
now, i do feel the "graduation effects" but only a teeny-wheeny little bit..
sad huh?
some would find internship fun, packed with life-long learning and etc.
i do get some pretty good lessons throughout my 32 weeks of internship but erm..
i am honestly bored.bored to the skin and bone.
and maybe, i finally have a proof to tell myself; i do not want to work as an engineer.
the question that comes after this is, then what the hell do i want to do after i grad?
*silence*
i will not answer or go in circles with that question for now. no, not now.
but anyway, i am so HAPPY that i am finishing internship!!! *big grins*
now, u can't blame me for being THAT happy about finishing internship..
it's not that i am that big of a lazy bum or i am such a immature young adult..
i am just so done with it.seriously.
but hey, it's not like my work was super stressful or super hard or my supervisor and mentors are whipping my butt while i work.
no. in fact, i get a lot of freedom. a lot of freedom.
i get to slack from time to time, to read a bit, chat, walk around.....
and even though i was given such a freedom, i wasn't happy.
i think i know why. i felt useless there.
what i was good in, was not utilize.
i guess, despite all the thoughts of being humble and invisible and blablabla, part of me will always want to shine out from the rest but no, i didn't get the chance this time.
that's okay.. at least i managed to be helpful with all the random tasks.
and u know, at work, what i have been asked to do most is language consultation; English.
it's something quite funny when u have your mentor calling u and u were expecting a new task for the last week, only to hear him asking u is it "special thank" or "special thanks". LOL.
and really, i don't exactly know how this started.. i think i have a face that shows, "dude, i am good in English. consult me. ask me." *smirk*
no... my English is only as good as....this.
oh another thing i get consulted a lot is actually computer stuffs. microsoft words and excel.
so i guess i don't know thaaaaaaaat little about computer stuffs after all. *grins*
all in all, i am still grateful to the ppl there because i know, i was meant to be there for some reasons which i still do not know what are they now. it's okay, i will come to know when the time comes.
i am happy that i still have 10 weeks of break before sem starts.
i am so gonna drown myself with card-making, anime, and books.
oh yeah, let me confess about something. it's my last week of internship and i have been reading.everyday.
no, i feel no guilt about it cause hey, i am dumped there with no tasks and projects anymore.
so yeah, i'll read all i want and no guilt at all. bluek!

wanna share something here..

i agree.. because this fear is one of those that lingers in my heart. all the time.
u'll know what i mean if u have experienced the pain when u were putting all your heart full of sincerity for the things u do, for the person.. only to be acknowledged as nothing special.
it really tore down the self confidence part..sigh.
it probably became the excuse for being ignorant as well..
but i do believe that this should not close the door to my heart.
i will keep it open. closing it won't do anything..
because someday, there will be one who will care that i care.. who will care about me more than i care about myself.
yeah, i believe that.

wee~~~~
tomorrow is another reading day! *grins*
(i am straining my eyes by reading on my phone..haha. who wants to give me an iPad 2? LOL.)